I am not Buddhist, but I've always admired their ideal of living in the present.  I feel like I spend far too much time living in a past that I cannot change or a future that I only fear might come true, and not enough time living in the moment that is happening.  Especially recently, I find myself caught up in a negative tape loop of arguments that have already passed or arguments that I wish or fear might occur in the future.  Essentially, I find myself fighting fights with people who aren't even there.

This week I have been making a special effort to stay present, or when I find myself not in the present to pull myself back there.  When I find myself going over and over an argument that I'll never have, or thinking about something that happened weeks ago, I pull myself out of my head and look around the room.  It really does feel like pulling my mind back into my body.  It's like I was looking right through the world around me and not seeing it at all, and then suddenly it is there again like I had left and come back.

I've tried to practice being present in the past and didn't have a whole lot of luck with it, but I feel like focusing on the times when I am worrying about the past or future and choosing to be present instead of being in those bad head spaces has made a huge difference this week.  I finished finals earlier this week and I only get ten days for spring break so I'm trying to make the most of these ten days to destress and recharge, perhaps even recapture my enthusiasm.  I can't do that if I'm still gnawing at my anger over a grade on a test or worrying about the drama that is sure to come in the next quarter of school.

One of the best things about being in the present is simply how ephemeral that present is.  If it is a good moment, I can enjoy it fully, but if it is a bad moment I know that it will pass quickly.  I'm tired of fighting one-sided fights.  It winds me up so the next time I have to interact with that person I practically spit acid at them which accomplishes nothing, let alone all of my personal time I wasted on being upset and angry about things I cannot change.  I can't change the past and I can't say what the future holds, so I will take each moment as they come and only as they come as often as I can manage.  More importantly I will treasure every good moment and not overlook it because I am still living in a bad one.